Having Difficult Conversations with Family

Note: Spanish audio is provided as a narrated translation of the English lesson. The English text is the official course content.

Conversations with families can be difficult for many reasons. At times, you may worry that a family will be upset by something you share or even choose to withdraw their child from your program. You might also fear that a family will stop communicating with you altogether.

While conversations about concerns can feel uncomfortable, they also offer an important opportunity. These discussions allow you to express your care and support for both the family and the preschooler’s development and learning in a thoughtful and respectful way.

Misunderstandings can occur when your understanding of a situation differs from a family member’s perspective. In these moments, it is helpful to pause and consider multiple viewpoints.

Example Situation

A mother picks up her preschooler at the end of the day. For the third day in a row, her daughter comes home messy, with dirty clothes from grass stains and finger paint.

Your Perspective

Providing preschoolers with a variety of sensory experiences throughout the day is important. Sensory play supports early learning, growth, and development.

Family Perspective

“We spend money on her clothes, and we want to keep them looking nice. We don’t go straight home after pickup, and I don’t want others to think I don’t take good care of my child.”

The teacher takes time to ask questions and learns why keeping her daughter clean is so important to the family. The teacher discovers that the family believes a child’s clothing reflects the quality of care they provide. To them, sending their child to an early care and learning program feels like sending their child to school, where children are expected to be clean and well dressed. This is one way the family shows respect for education.

The teacher also explains that sensory experiences are an important part of learning and often involve messes. Through open discussion, the teacher and family work together to find a solution. They decide the child will change clothes during messy sensory play or be covered with protective clothing.

As a teacher, you want to provide the best possible care for the children in your program. You also have the opportunity to observe and learn about each child’s development over time. Your observations, notes, screenings, and assessments help identify strengths as well as areas where a child may need additional support.

Sharing these observations with families is the first step in building a supportive and collaborative planning process.

See the handout, Sharing Concerns with Families, for additional ideas and resources.